Thursday, December 13, 2012

Secrets

For as long as I can remember, people have told me things that are none of my business. Complete strangers, or acquaintances I've barely spoken with, will tell me their deepest, darkest secrets. Sometimes I wonder why, but I usually don't think much of it. I'm a good listener. I give advice when I'm able, but for the most part I keep my mouth shut and I don't pass judgement. Sometimes people just need someone to talk to.

I took a call today from a female customer. She made a payment on her account and I asked her a few routine questions. General account maintenance. She asked me if I could reset her account preferences for the bank to stop sending her an electronic copy of her statement. She wanted to receive a copy in the mail only. Pretty routine stuff.

Suddenly she blurted out, "I just found out my husband is having an affair."

Her voice cracked as the words spilled out. Her husband is cheating on her and she wants to make sure that he doesn't have access to her account. I double-checked and assured her that he is not authorized on her account. I went through her entire account while she told me her secrets.

He never wanted her to have her own credit card in the first place. He's always handled the finances, as The Man of The House, and he was angry when she opened the account. She tells me that he warned her, "You're going to ruin your credit. If you make one late payment, we'll lose everything. We'll lose the house!" But she applied for the card anyway, because, "I've always heard that a woman should have something of her own, just in case." Her voice sounded small and fragile, so I tried to give her some of my strength even though it makes me sad to hear someone cry.

"Absolutely!" I agreed. "You never know what's going to happen. You have to be prepared to take care of yourself."  

He knows that she knows something is going on; he recently asked her a lot of questions to find out how much. She's purchased some recording equipment with her credit card and she's afraid that he'll get into her email and see the charges on her statement. If that happens, she won't be able to prove what he's done.

I told her how to change the password on her email and online banking accounts. I told her when her paper statement will be sent in the mail so that she can get to it before he does. I gave her words of encouragement and wished her the best of luck.

But mostly, I kept my mouth shut. I don't judge. She just needed someone to talk to, and I'm glad that I was able to answer that call.

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