Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Are you this distrustful of everyone?

 Like I said, we're expected to up-sell "products" and services on every call. Obviously the bank is looking to make some money, but these are things that honestly do benefit our customers as well. They're designed to save the customer money, making it more likely that you'll use our credit cards instead of another bank's, which benefits the bank in the long run. The bottom line is that these are some good deals for YOU; I don't give a shit if the bank makes any money. Well, maybe a little bit. I've got bills to pay, too. Anyway...

Instead of you racking up interest charges on your purchases, I can deposit the money directly into your checking account, interest-free for the next 12 months. Are you paying a higher interest rate on another credit card? I can transfer that balance over to this card, no interest for the next 15 months and even after that promotion ends, our interest rate is still lower than what you're paying now! Bam, I just saved you some more money. You're welcome.

Even with the transaction fee, it will save you money. I have some awesome calculators that can prove to you exactly how much, if you could give me two minutes of your time to explain this. Personally, I think the bank has enough fucking money, and I'd like to see some of that go back to the customer. I might be working for the man, but I am a sneaky little bitch and I will try to save you a dollar any way I can. 

One thing I can't do, though, is waive that transaction fee. That shit is required by law, unfortunately. People get so pissed about this, they would rather pay twice as much in interest every month on some shitty credit card that doesn't even have a points program on it than let me do a balance transfer that would save them hundreds of dollars. Idiots.

We also have quarterly promotions where we offer bonus points or cash back on our cards. These offers are completely free of charge and are designed, pure and simple, to entice you to use this credit card. If you already have a rewards card, why wouldn't you want to get 2500 extra points just for using a card you're already using? Or even better, you don't have a rewards card? Here's some cash back in the form of a statement credit, just to thank you for using this card. Personally, I think that's pretty awesome.

Here's the problem, though. People are so fucking paranoid and distrustful of banks that they absolutely refuse to believe that this shit is for real. They think that if they let me sign them up for some bonus points, I'm going to raise their interest rate as soon as they hang up the phone. Because that's perfectly legal, right? Or they think that I'm going to charge them some kind of hidden fee after the fact. Some of them won't even let me explain the offer before they snap at me and hang up the phone. 

I can see how much you use this card, and I'm guessing that you have a rewards card for a reason. You could have had 3 points per dollar instead of 1, jackass. Honestly, I don't know why I even care. Maybe I'm just pissed because I have shitty credit and I can't get one of the cards for myself. I wish someone would offer to give me a few cents back every time I bought something!

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