Not everyone is out to get you!

You know those blank checks that you get in the mail with your credit card statement? Sometimes they have promotional rates, even zero interest, for a set time before the remaining balance goes back to your contract interest rate. All of the terms of agreement to use those checks are printed directly on the same page, and honestly it is pretty consumer -friendly language. If you have any questions, PLEASE call and ask! The bottom line is, this is a check that YOU write and YOU cash and you have no one to blame but YOURSELF if it's not paid off in time. Nobody tricked you into whipping out that pen and borrowing $3000 from your line of credit.

I am not responsible for how YOU make YOUR payments. The manner in which we allocate your payments is regulated by, you guessed it, the feds. This information is available in writing in a number of places, and is required to be read VERBATIM for any transaction performed over the phone. Yes, those calls are recorded. If I miss anything, the transaction will be cancelled by quality control. 

Don't call me after the promotional rate expires and you're being charged interest because you didn't pay off the balance in time. It certainly didn't help that you kept making purchases on the card, increasing the total balance on the card. It's not my fault you can't math. Nobody sold you some magic beans over the phone and ripped you off. You were sure as hell able to read the part where it said zero interest for 10 months...suddenly I'm a crook because you "didn't see" the part advising you how payments are allocated if you have multiple balances with different interest rates? And no, it is not "fine print."

As far as promotional offers are concerned, yes, I am required to "up-sell" certain products and services if they are available for your account. Not a single one of these offers will raise or lower your credit limit, raise your interest rate, cost you points or cash from your existing rewards program, spam your inbox with junk email or subject you to telemarketing sales calls. We offer promotions which are genuinely to the benefit of our customers because, damn this economy sucks! We want our customers to use our cards, but we understand that times are tough and people need a damn good reason to use their credit line. 

We honestly do reward our customers for their loyalty, but when I suggest a "sale" to some customers, OMG you'd think I just punched a baby in the face! People are so paranoid that there's gotta be some catch that, instead of letting me explain the offer, they cut me off, yell in my ear, and hang up the phone. We send the complete details out in the mail. Don't bother calling back later when you realize what a mistake you've made, Mr. "saving all my points for that plane ticket to Cabo". Once I click "not accepted" that offer is GONE. Go fuck yourself and your bonus points!