How to Get Your Own Way by being a Bully

I answered a call the other day and I knew from the start that this guy was going to be an asshole.

When you cut me off mid-word to preemptively answer my questions, I don't know what your problem is. Do you thing you're being efficient by saving me the time required to finish those few syllables? Is it because you're in a hurry and you think your time is more valuable than my respect? You know what; I don't even care. You're an asshole and I hate you.

This asshole was rude and snappy during the verification process and as soon as I asked, "How can I help you?" he cut me off in the middle of the word "today," and snapped:

"Reverse some charges!"

First of all, OMG, fuck you. I am so sick and tired of people who were obviously raised by animals because they have no idea about polite human interaction. What happened to "please," and "thank you?" How hard would it have been to say something like, "I see some charges on my account that I'm hoping you can remove," and not be a fucking dick?

Secondly, banks are not in the habit of simply reversing charges for absolutely no reason. I guess you missed the memo, but this is not a non-profit organization. And if you're referring to a merchant charge, the same goes for them and we're not going to just cancel the charge without first determining whether or not it's a valid charge. That is why banks employ a slew of people in Billing Disputes and Fraud Claims.

Come to find out it's a $1 charge and an associated $.03 foreign transaction fee. It took a minute to find because he gave me a completely different name for the merchant and had no idea of the amount. He said that he had signed up for something but they never sent him anything and "you need to reverse this charge right now!"

I said, "Okay, it sounds like I just need to get you in touch with our Billing Disputes department. This will just take a moment," and he totally flipped. the fuck. out.

It was completely ridiculous. I have seen/heard 3 year-olds with more self control. He went on this rant about how it shouldn't be a dispute because he's the customer and I'm supposed to be in Customer Service and I should just reverse the charges. Screaming unintelligibly like a baby the entire time.

I tried to explain that I am not authorized to just reverse charges like this; that is what Billing Disputes is for. I don't know why I even tried to reason with him. I should have just placed him on hold and transferred the call. Don't worry, I would have done a warm transfer. I'm not trying to dick over my co-workers. This just was not my problem and I don't need to explain myself to this idiot.

He kept yelling about how he didn't understand why I wouldn't just do my job as Customer Service because he is the Customer and if he is telling me that he didn't get what he paid for, then I should just reverse those charges, and RAWR RAWR RAWR!

Like a glutton for punishment, I tried to explain that he needs to file a claim with Billing Disputes because he did give this company his credit card number and we have to give the merchant a chance to respond to the claim. We can't just take the word of every customer that calls in and says that they didn't receive a product, or immediately reverse charges if you're not happy with a service you paid for. It just doesn't work that way, and it's a good way to get sued.

This whole time, I'm apologizing to him like a good little corporate slave, because our main goal is Customer Satisfaction and one does not ever tell a Customer "No" or tell them that something cannot be done. So in between all of my "Sir, I understand your frustration, and I am trying to resolve this for you," and "I apologize for the inconvenience," I was trying to get my manager's attention because this shit was getting out of control.

"Sir, I am very sorry for the inconvenience, but I'm not authorized to reverse charges like this. That's why I need to get an associate from Billing Disputes on the line and" and the motherfucker cut me off, again.

"Then screw you, this company is shit! You can just cancel my account! I want to speak to your manager right now!"

"Yes, sir. Just a moment. Hold please."

"Right now!"

"Yes, sir. Hold please."

At this point I was shaking and about three seconds away from a full-blown panic attack. I had a hard time catching my breath, and I'm sure that if Quality was reviewing my call it probably sounded like I was sighing in frustration.

To make a long story a little shorter, my manager did take over the call. He couldn't get a word in edgewise, either. He was able to credit the charges back to the customer's account, mostly because it was only $1.03. He tried to explain that without a dispute on file, the company could potentially charge the card again if it was a subscription service. The customer decided that he would rather have us cancel that card number as lost/stolen and issue him a new card.

Why the fuck would you rather be without your credit card for 8-10 business days, unable to use the old number for anything, than take 5 minutes to file a claim with Billing Disputes? I really wish I had taken note of the merchant's name, because that must have been some embarrassing shit that he didn't want to talk about.

Anyway, kids, I guess the moral of the story is that if you yell and scream and make threats, you can get whatever you want. Because the Customer is always Right.

Did I stutter?

This is a typical phone call in Card Services:

"Thank you for calling Card Services, this is Headset. May I have your name please?"

"John Doe."

"How are you today, Mr. Doe?"

"Fine." Nine times out of ten, this is said in a tone which indicates that my question is somehow offensive. One customer out of ten will return the pleasantry by asking me how I'm doing.

"That's great...and what are the last four digits of the card you're calling about?"

"1 2 3 4," usually accompanied by one of those huffy sighs that lets me know what a huge inconvenience this is. 

This is where it gets fun! After I match your name with that account number, I still need to verify your identity. If you're calling from a phone number associated with your account, that's verification #1 right there. If you can give me the card's expiration date and CVV (security code), we're good to go.

However...if the phone number doesn't match, I'm gonna need your date of birth, mother's maiden name, or the last four digits of your social. 

After that, I still need you to verify the expiration date and security code.

When I ask you, "Do you have that card available?" the last thing I want to hear is:

"Ugh! I have my statement right in front of me!" This is always said in that condescending tone of voice that's supposed to make me feel like a complete idiot for asking such a stupid question.

First of all, lose the fucking attitude. I'm just doing my job, and verifying your identity is a pretty big deal in the banking industry. I don't know what kind of rock you've been living under to not understand what a huge problem identity theft has become in the US, but I kind of wish you'd crawl back under it.

When you snap at me that you're looking at your statement (always with that snotty attitude like I just asked you the most ridiculous question you've ever heard because I should know that you just read the last four digits of your account number off of the bill!) it is like nails on a chalkboard to me.

I don't give a fuck about your statement! Did I say anything about your statement? Did I stutter?  Shit, maybe I did stutter...

That's okay, though, because I am a true professional.

"Mr. Doe, I see that you're calling from a telephone number we have on file, so I only need to verify one more piece of information for the security of your account. One moment, please..."

If you don't have the card to read off the security code, I have to verify something else. There are a whole list of items that we can accept, and FYI, your full social security number is not one of them. These are things that the average thief would not be able to identify if they had stolen your wallet.

Except, people are paranoid that the bank is going to sell their information and spam their inbox, so 9 times out of 10 there is no additional information on file.

"I just want to make my payment!"

"I'm happy to assist you with that, sir. I just need to verify that you're authorized on this account first. If you're not able to provide the expiration date and security code on the card, I have to ask you an additional security question."

Down the list of possibilities we go, with nothing that I can verify because you're too fucking paranoid to give us your email address or attach your cell phone number to your account. What do you think I'm going to do, send you a text message at midnight?

I'm only allowed to ask you three questions before I am required to transfer your call to the fraud department because you are now a "suspicious caller." I'm not allowed to tell you that I'm calling fraud, though, so I have to say something like, "I apologize for the delay, Mr. Doe, but I'm having some difficulty accessing your account. Can you please hold for a moment while I get some assistance?"

"Ugh, fine! I can get the card. It's upstairs in my wallet!"

FUCK. YOU. You lazy mother-fucker. Actually, I don't even give a shit about you being too lazy to walk across the room and get your fucking credit card. If you'd rather answer security questions, I have no problem with that. What pisses me off is the fact that you just spent three minutes acting like a cunt because you think you're fucking special and shouldn't have to verify your identity.

Oh, you're special, all right. You are a special kind of asshole.

Also, I dare you to hang up on me during the verification process. I wish you would. It takes me 30 seconds to put a fraud alert on your account. Let's see how special you feel when your credit card is declined.

Pay attention to details!

No, I will not refund interest charges that were accrued as a result of your mistake. We already fixed YOUR MISTAKE so that you won't be charged any interest on this balance in the future. This was done as a COURTESY, meaning favor, help, or generosity. As in, we had absolutely no obligation to do this but we did it to be nice so quit being so ungrateful. Your attitude of entitlement will get you nowhere with me.

This is a transaction that the bank is not going to make any money on from this point forward. Sometimes we'll do this as a courtesy to the customer because it builds good customer relations and hopefully you will complete more transactions with us in the future. Lose the attitude and show some gratitude.

Kindly go fuck yourself, accusing us of  hacking into your online account and changing the rate you had selected. You already admitted that this was not a bank error, but now that we're holding you responsible for your finance charges, you want to try a different tactic? Not happening, asshole. Nobody here is going to commit a federal offense over 60 fucking dollars in interest. Personally, if I'm going down, I want to go down in a blaze of glory, not for some fucking chump change.

Also, I'm not stupid. I know the reason you refuse to speak with tech support is because they will prove you WRONG. So yeah, get bent.

Ashamed, the finale

I told the manager that I felt like a failure and maybe I'm not cut out for this job. She asked me not to quit just yet, especially while I was still upset. “There’s attitude, and there’s aptitude. We can teach aptitude; we can give you additional training and teach you the skills that you need for this job. We can’t teach attitude, though. The right attitude is something you either have or you don’t, and you do have it. You have a lot of potential to do well here.” 

She told me to go home for the day and that she would set me up with some one-on-one training with more experienced associates and give me a break from the phone. She’s not denying that we have some shitty customers or saying that I just need to suck it up and deal, which I really appreciate. She’s just hoping that I can learn to ignore them and not let it bother me so much, which would be nice.

When I got home, though, I still felt panicky. I couldn't get myself to calm down. I felt completely exhausted, mentally and physically, which is actually pretty common after a panic attack. I went to sleep around 8 pm but I felt just as bad when I woke up the next morning. I ended up calling in sick to work, too drained to worry about the consequences at the moment. I went back to sleep, thinking maybe I would go in later (I work 10 hour shifts) but I didn't wake up until after 2 pm.

My team manager called to check on me and see how I was feeling, which was a nice surprise. Don’t get me wrong, he is a nice guy. I’m just not used to management actually caring enough to call an employee at home and see how they’re doing. He asked me if I was still coming in on Monday and reassured me that they had me scheduled for training instead of being on the phone by myself.

I feel like if they’re willing to go out on a limb for me and set this up to help me, I should give it another shot. I really do feel like this could be a great company to work for and I don’t like to give up, especially on something I know I can do really well. I’m normally really good with people, and I love working in customer service. 

I'm not ashamed of myself for being human and having feelings, but I do need to learn to distance myself emotionally from these assholes. 

Ashamed, part 2

By the time my supervisor returned to my desk to check on me (two minutes, tops), I was hyperventilating as I wrestled with the decision to hide in my cubicle while I made a feeble attempt to get my shit together, or make a run for the ladies room and risk running into more witnesses. I am an “ugly crier;” there’s no hiding my red, splotchy skin and puffy, bloodshot eyes under those fluorescent lights. Luckily my sup made the decision for me and ushered me off into the nearest private office and closed the door while she tried to help me calm down.

I told her that I couldn’t handle this shit. I cannot deal with people screaming at me and verbally abusing me on a daily basis. She tried to assure me that I don’t have to put up with it; when a customer acts like that we’re allowed to immediately put them on hold and find a manager or supervisor to take the call. This is great, but what’s the limit? I can’t be transferring calls every time someone yells at me. I’m trying to prove myself, so I keep trying to do a good job while waiting for this bullshit to stop getting under my skin and bothering me so much, but it’s just not working.

She got me calmed down and told me to take a break, splash some cold water on my face, and go back to my desk when I was ready. I did just that, and walked around outside for a bit, but I just couldn’t seem to catch my breath. Thankfully, I knew that my lunch break was scheduled in about 15 minutes anyway, so I figured I should just take a few more calls in the meantime because the longer I put it off, the harder it was going to be.

When I got back to my desk, a coworker had left me a message that said, “Don’t feel bad, it happens to all of us.” I thought that was sweet and I really appreciated the sentiment, but I was still fighting back tears on every call. I didn't even bother trying to sell anyone a single product or service. I just wanted to get off the phone. Just tell me what you want so I can get off this phone. Thank God my lunch is an hour long.

I started to feel a little better during lunch. I must have looked like shit. The nice lady who runs the cash register in the cafeteria told me I looked like I could use some comfort food. The same coworker who left me the message came to check on me and make sure I was okay before she left for the day. She gave me some really good advice about things that she does to deal with difficult customers. “Last year, I decided I’d had enough. I wasn’t going to let it upset me anymore. I wasn’t going to let it make me sad. I wasn’t going to let it make me feel sick.” And I appreciate that but I don’t know HOW to do that, how to just shut off my reaction like nothing happened.

Toward the end of my lunch break, I checked the clock and realized I had 15 minutes to get back to my desk. Normally I would be happy about that; I had a nice meal and I still have plenty of time to kick back and relax. We have a really nice break room with a large TV and comfortable couches and I always feel reenergized at the end of my lunch. Today, though, as soon as I saw the time I started to panic. I only have 15 more minutes before I have to get back on the phone. I could feel my heart start racing and beating harder. My throat and chest felt tight and I could feel sweat pooling under my arms. Just the thought of getting back on the phone was filling me with dread and making me feel nauseous.

Suck it up, buttercup. As I made my way back to my desk, the supervisor I had spoken with earlier waved me over and asked me, “Are you feeling better?” I just shook my head. “What’s wrong?” I asked her if we could speak in private, and she led me back to an empty office and closed the door.

As soon as I started talking, the tears started again. I told her that I needed to know what my options were, if any, to remain with the company but transfer to a different department. I know that the policy is that you’re not eligible for a promotion until you’ve been in your current department for at least 12 months, but I wasn’t sure if that applied if you were willing to “downgrade” or be demoted or whatever. “I really want to work here, but I don’t know if I can make it through 9 more months of this.” She told me to wait while she spoke with the department manager who I think is in charge of HR or something like that, and then sent me over to her office.

I repeated my concerns to the manager, crying the entire time. She didn’t bring up the 12-month policy, but she did tell me that right now there just isn’t anything else available for her to transfer me. I told her that I don’t think I can take this daily onslaught of verbal abuse. It’s not just once in a while, it’s every day. Every single day and not once has it been because of anything I’ve done wrong. People are just rude and nasty and I’ve been screamed at every single day for every reason imaginable, and none of them have anything to do with me.

“I like working here. I think this seems like a great company to work here and I had really high hopes of making this a career, but I can’t deal with this shit. I could understand if I had done something wrong, but 9 times out of 10 it’s not even something the bank has done wrong. People make mistakes with their accounts or don’t pay their bill on time and get charged a late fee or don’t understand how interest is calculated and somehow that’s my fault and they’re screaming at me.”

This isn’t a customer service issue, either. I’ve worked in customer service in various positions in different industries for 18 years. I’ve never had a job where I wasn’t somehow in customer service. I’ve never been treated this poorly at any other job, and experiencing it every single shift makes me anxious and sick to my stomach. People exhibit behaviors on the phone that they would never show in public. If you walked into a bank branch and started screaming and cussing at a bank teller, you would be asked to leave or forcibly removed by security, so why do you think it’s acceptable on the phone?

Ashamed

This actually happened yesterday, Dec. 20. I'm still processing what happened and writing it all out. Here's Part 1...

I let a customer make me cry today.

To be fair, it was a string of shitty customers, all morning long, and by the time I answered that call my nerves were already worn thin. 

Before I had even finished my standard, cheerful (ish?) greeting, he launched into a tirade about some mistake that had been made on one of his accounts (which account? I don't know because he hadn't even given me his name let alone his account number) and he had to wait on hold for 20 minutes to get a person on the line who finally told him that she would fix the issue (not even close, bitch) but then for some reason told him that she would need to transfer him to another associate (lucky me!) and "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS?!" 

I don't like being yelled at, and I certainly don't appreciate being yelled at for absolutely no reason. I could feel heat on my cheeks and a slight tremor in my hands as I informed him that I would not be able to give him any information about this account without first verifying his identity. He was completely hysterical, yelling that he had already given me that information (sorry I missed those four digits somewhere in the middle of you screaming at me!) and making a huge deal out of "repeating" himself to me like I was a complete moron.

"Do you need my full social security number? Would that help you to be able to do your job?" followed by more of the same, with me unable to get a word in edgewise.

I pulled up both of his accounts, identified the problem immediately, and went to work rectifying the issue while listening to him complain to someone in the background, insulting my intelligence and accusing the bank of depositing into the wrong account on purpose, hoping that he would just forget about it until we could steal his money. The whole thing was just fucking laughable, but laughing at a customer and calling them out on their stupidity is not actually permitted in this business. I did try, as tactfully as possible, to explain that what he was suggesting is illegal on a federal level and simply not possible under current banking regulations, but that only brought forth more yelling, because, "WELL THEN HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!"

Nothing I said had any effect on calming him down, which wasn't really a surprise since he wouldn't allow me to finish a full word before interrupting me to yell some more, let alone complete an entire sentence to speculate what may have happened and offer to research the issue with the assistance of a manager. When he finished his third outburst with a condescending, “You probably don’t even know anything about this, but I really would appreciate an answer!” I replied, “I can get you an answer, but I’ll have to put you on hold for a moment while I research this for you.”

The truth is, I already knew exactly what had happened: a simple and honest mistake involving a merchant issuing a refund credit to his old (now closed) account number, the only number that the merchant had on file. Normally that refund would have automatically transferred to his new account, but shit happens. Computer systems are not infallible. There was no nefarious plot by The Big Bad Bank to defraud him of approximately $200 by hiding it in an old account that he’s still able to view online.

Thankfully my manager was nearby and I was able to get his attention pretty quickly. Fighting to maintain my composure, I could hear my voice waver and go up an octave as I asked him for clarification on this issue. Don’t you dare cry; get your shit together! Manager was a bit distracted and basically confirmed what I already knew. Suddenly I couldn't face the idea of getting back on the phone with this customer. I could feel my resolve crumbling as I begged, “Then can you please explain that to him? I can’t take any more of this guy screaming at me. He’s angry and he’s accusing us of stealing his money and I just can’t take this right now,” and then I burst into tears. “I can’t take it!”

To my manager’s credit, he finally made eye contact with me and rushed a supervisor over to help me as soon as he saw my face. She told me to take a deep breath and transfer the call to her phone as soon as she got back to her desk. I struggled to calm my breathing while I waited for her to log in, and in that 30 second time-frame that motherfucker hung up the phone.

I could not stop crying, and I was mortified at my lack of self-control. I hate myself so much when I get that emotional, and the fact that there were witnesses only made it that much more humiliating. 

I don't want to talk to you, either!

I work in a call center for a major financial institution. We get a lot of calls from customers who just want to activate a new card or make a payment, and they're surprised when the call is answered by an actual person. Some of them handle it better than others.

I had a guy cut me off during the verification process today. "I just want to activate this card!" he snapped at me before I could even finish my greeting.

"Wonderful, sir. I can take care of that for you. Can I get your name and the last 4 digits of the card you're calling about?" I get assholes like him on the phone every day but I'm still courteous and professional.

So I'm trying to be nice to this guy and he's grumbling through the whole verification process. I activate his card and ask him the same general questions we have to ask every caller, simple things like signing up for payment alerts. I think I may have offered him a promotion for bonus points on his rewards card (which is a FREE offer, BTW). He's just an asshole the entire time, and then he interrupts me to say:

"I just wanted to activate my card! I don't understand why it didn't go through to the computer. My account is in good standing. Why do I have to talk to you?"

I'm so sick and tired of customers acting like it's such a horrible thing to talk to a live representative. Normally, we're supposed to placate them by saying something like, "Because you're such a valued customer, we want to make sure that you're receiving all of the benefits and features available on your account," or, "We try to offer personalized service to our premier customers." Blah, blah, WHATEVER, you suck. For some reason, this dude just got under my skin a little bit. So I replied:

"Sir, it isn't a negative reflection on the status of your account to be able to speak with a live representative in the United States...Is there anything else I can help you with today?"