Tough Love

Why do people think that if they refuse to verify account information I'm just going to let that slide? Like if they yell at me or threaten to close their account I'll just suddenly bypass all of the government-regulated security measures and do whatever they want to the account?

This lady called in today who claimed to be the authorized user on the account. The phone number she was calling from was not on file for the account, so I have to ask a security question. I asked her for the DOB of the primary cardholder, which was 2/4/1956.*

"2/8/1956," she says. Keep in mind that the authorized user on this account is the WIFE of the primary cardholder. 

I asked her if she could verify the last 4 of his SSN. She cannot. As I'm reviewing the account to see what else I can use for verification, she blurts out his mother's maiden name.

Why oh why do people do this? I cannot accept any piece of information which is offered by a caller. So now we are down to virtually nothing that I can use for traditional security verification...and I haven't even asked her if she has the card to verify the CVV. If she doesn't have that, then I'll have to verify a non-traditional question as well.

She makes some comment about how she doesn't understand why I'm asking her so many questions when she already gave me his birthdate. I apologize and explain that it didn't match the DOB on file.

"2/4/1596?!" she exclaims.

"That is not what you told me earlier, ma'am," I deadpan. 

"Oh, I'm sorry! I'm just so nervous!" she's suddenly trying to be meek and mild. Please explain to me why the wife of a cardholder, who is herself authorized on the account, would have any reason to be nervous.

"I apologize for the delay, but I'm going to need to place you on a brief hold while I bring an associate on the line to assist me with the security verification." When I can't authenticate a customer I have to conference in someone from the fraud department, but of course I'm not telling her that. I just say I need assistance.

She gets very aggravated and informs me that she'll just have "him" deal with this later. Then she hangs up the phone. 

Whatevs, bitch. I take account security very seriously. Account documented and frozen for potential fraud. 

Then there was the alleged wife who was not authorized on the account and became so angry when I politely informed her that I could not perform account maintenance or release account information without speaking to the cardholder that she yelled, "That's fine! We'll just call back later and close this account, how about that!"

First of all, cuntmuffin, I don't know who this "we" is of which you speak. There is only one person listed on this account and he is not you. Secondly, if you think that I personally care whether or not your husband maintains a credit card with a $5000 limit, you have huffed too much paint thinner today. Zero fucks were given about this conversation, although I did comment the account that an unauthorized person attempted to get account information.

This is getting into TL;DR territory, but maybe tomorrow I will tell you the tale of the "cardholder" who was unable to verify her own DOB correctly...and told me that she would have to retrieve her tax records to give me her SSN. 


*Not his real DOB, in case you thought I was completely insane.