Here, phishy phishy...

Have you ever received an email like this?

Dear Bank Client,

Our technical security services department has notified an error on your account, which may lead to your account suspension.

For you to gain access back to your account. you are required to follow the instructions below

• Instructions
• All Bank customers are required to fill their account information properly.
• Failure to do so will be automatically de-activated from its account from our database.

Click here to proceed

We are sorry for the inconvenience this may caused you and thank you for banking with us.

Sincerely,

Your Bank

This is what is referred to as a "phishing" email. 

Phishing is the act of attempting to acquire information such as usernames, passwords, and credit card details (and sometimes, indirectly, money) by masquerading as a trustworthy entity in an electronic communication. (Thank you, Wikipedia!)

Basically, this is a crook who is hoping that you will click on that link and not pay attention to the fact that it redirects to a page that is not part of our secure online banking website. Once there, you'll be required to "verify" your account information. 

Most people see these and either:
a) realize immediately that it's a scam and delete the message; or
b) call the bank, just to be sure, before they fill in any information.

Every once in a while these losers get lucky and the email lands in the inbox of another loser who should not legally be allowed to manage their own money. Some of these people should have a conservatorship like Britney Spears has with her dad.

I took a call from a customer who informed me that she had received one of these emails. I get at least one of these calls every single day from customers who want to know why we sent them an email saying that their account has been suspended when they just logged into online banking and their account has not been suspended and they pay their bills on time so why are they getting these damn emails saying that their account is suspended?!

Seriously, though, most of our customers can see right through this bullshit and they only call to make sure there's no fraud on their account.

Not this lady. 

Like I said, I get these calls every  day. So when she told me she got an email stating that her account had been suspended, I was pretty casual about it and replied, "Yeah, that's not from us. That's a phishing email..." and I was about to assure her that her account was fine when she says:

"Well I filled out the form and verified my account, but then today I got another email from you guys saying the same thing!" 

That made me sit up straight. "...Ma'am, that email was not from the bank. What exactly did you verify?"

Everything. She verified everything. Her full credit card number. Her full social security number. Her mother's maiden name. Her billing address. All of her phone numbers. The name of her family physician? Yes. The make and model of the first vehicle she purchased 30 years ago? Why not!

At what point would a normal person think to themselves, "Something doesn't seem right here. I don't remember ever giving the bank the name of my doctor...how would they have this information on file to be verified in the first place?" Not this dumb bitch; no way. The only reason she was even calling us was because she was pissed that her account was still "suspended" even after she had "verified" all of that information!

I gave her the phone numbers for Trans Union, Experian, and Equifax so that she could have a fraud alert placed on her credit report and she had no idea what the fuck I was talking about. She had never heard of any of the 3 major credit bureaus. 

I also told her that she needs to call the Social Security administration fraud department and she got all huffy about that, like a fucking teenager who doesn't want to do her homework. Before you even ask, this woman is a native-born US citizen who speaks English as her first language and no, she was not elderly. She is just a fucking idiot who absolutely could not understand the gravity of the situation and acted really put-upon by the idea that she needed to make these phone calls. 

Too dumb for words!