Performance Problems

Well, I was right. I signed my written warning today. Despite repeated coaching, I have failed to meet expectations for performance standards.

I have shown consistent improvement, and that was acknowledged and praised, but it still falls short. I was asked what else management can do to help me succeed and I really didn't know what to say. They have already provided me with a ton of additional training, which I do make a concentrated effort to implement. I said that I feel like no matter how hard I try, it's not good enough, and maybe I'm just not cut out for this work.

The response from management was that they do not believe that to be true, that they feel like I know the job really well and have a lot of potential. They can see/hear how hard I'm trying. We just need to find the key to get past this barrier where my cash sales are not successful.

The problem is that I don't think there's anything else they can do to help me. The barrier that I'm facing is that I am afraid to talk to some of these customers. It gives me anxiety to have someone on the phone who is rude and nasty because they prefer the automated system and get pissed because they were transferred to a rep. My mind goes blank and I can't keep them on the phone to attempt a sale; sometimes I don't even try because I'm so scared they're going to flip out. Why do I even care? Good question.

If someone calls in with a problem, I'm good to go, even if they're yelling and angry. For some reason I'm okay with those calls because it's something I can solve and I like to fix things. But these people who are pissed because they'd rather talk to a robot? It's like my fight or flight response kicks in and I can't get them off the phone fast enough. The whole thing makes me sick to my stomach.

I honestly feel like the only way I'm going to work through this is on my own. This isn't a bank problem or a training problem. This is a personal problem I need to get over.

I'm looking into herbal/holistic remedies for anxiety. I should probably meditate or something but I wouldn't even know where to start with that. I just need to figure something out that prevents me from getting so upset with these calls. The only way I can describe it is that it hurts my feelings, seriously. Like, why are you being so mean to me when I'm being so nice to you and I didn't do anything wrong?

I know, logically, that there is no reason why I should even care. I know that whatever irritation these customers are projecting is not directed at me personally and I will never speak to them again anyway. I wish I could just brush it off, but right now it really gets under my skin.